Dear HRart Worker,
Have you ever been able to physically wake yourself up from a nightmare before it happened? Like the scene was being set and you knew what was around the corner was not going to be fun. I did this for the first time recently, before then I’m not sure I knew it was possible to do that. In fact, I spent the following day wondering why I hadn’t figured out that skill set sooner. It would have been nice to know how to escape those horrible nightmares of my childhood and if I’m being completely honest, adulthood as well.
After I got over this idea of making myself wake up, I began to process what was in the approaching nightmare that caused me to be so urgent in my need to avoid it at all costs. When I thought about it, the only thing I remember is being in the dark woods and a huge white wolf walking in front of me. He was in the process of positioning his stance so that he was facing me head on. Before I could see what he would actually do, I woke myself up.
Now there are a couple of things that really struck me about this wolf. First off, his coat was snowy white, almost identical to our newest fur baby, Murphy. If you haven’t seen this adorable pup yet, head over to my instagram after you’re done reading. I also remember that the day before this nightmare, I was walking Murphy thinking, wow you look like a wolf.
The other thing that really struck me about this wolf was the fact that I have a wolf tattoo in the center of my upper back. You can find pictures of this on my instagram too. The wolf is half-fluffy friend and half-tribal mandala. All of my tattoos, regardless of how cute they are, carry an intimate message that I need reminded of on a daily basis. The act of getting the tattoo serves as a powerful ritual for my personal healing and growth.
My wolf tattoo represents my pure self and how an outsider’s perspective can see my authentic nature as good or bad. Regardless of how someone sees me, it should not change how I see myself. This is a reminder to establish necessary boundaries to protect this sacred piece of myself.
I chose the wolf because of its beautiful blend of symbols, which are protection, fear and yin. This also makes it the perfect candidate to show up in my dreams when the moon hangs high in the sky. The wolf slowly stalks in a protective fashion so intentionally that it frightens me to think what was on the other side. I can’t help but think now looking back that waking up was not a skill set but part of subconscious processing. This brings a big question up to the surface… what am I afraid of?
This week we are revisiting an episode (below) that talks about nightmares and fear. Fear is a great teacher. It seems to signal to us like a neon sign saying “Look at me! Here is where you need to grow”.
The video can also be found here.
Until next time, stay open, stay connected, and take care of yourself!
p.s. This blog post was adapted from the Letters From the HRart fortnightly newsletter. I invite you to subscribe!
Cover Photo by Marek Szturc