Marie Forleo has been a member of my Mental Advisory Board since day one. Not sure what that is, no worries, that blog post is coming later this month. But I digress, this month Marie proposed a Decade Review to close out 2019 properly and be fully prepared to welcome 2020. This review facilitated a process that challenged me to determine the most significant outcomes for myself personally over the last decade. More importantly, I had to also explore why these outcomes were so significant.
I was a little overwhelmed initially at completing this task, knowing that the last ten years included my wedding day, the birth of two children, the birth of my business and some pretty huge educational and professional milestones – how would I ever narrow it down to three. But like most exercises in the personal development realm, the outcomes are never what is expected. Major life events don’t automatically transfer to the most significant and impactful for our growth. So what does make the list? Let’s take a look at mine.
Part I: What am I proud of?
Moment #1: From Heart to HRart
The first part of the review asked me to identify my top three proudest moments over the last decade and the first thing that came to mind was my book. I honestly did not believe that it would be possible for me to actually write a book. And if I did, I never in a million years would have dreamed I could finish it in less than a year. But to me, this moment was more than just writing and releasing a book. It was finding my voice and knowing how to express my truth. It also was the official beginning of the work I am now passionately pursuing and reference as HRart work.
Moment #2: My Family
Wanting a family of my own, was never truly on the list of active pursuits for my life. However, the universe had other plans when He brought Josh into my life. When I fell in love, it changed everything. Then the addition of two beautiful girls rocked my world and what I thought it would be even further. I had to quickly accept that this was beyond my control in a beautiful way. The relationships and bond we have created as a family is full of acceptance, grace, and love. I truly have a home where I can be myself without the worry of judgment. The last decade was instrumental in providing the challenges and adventures to solidify these bonds.
Moment #3: My Education
I am a student of life. A statement I would have never said 10 years ago. I was so relieved when I graduated college with my undergraduate degree and was absolutely certain I would never come back again. Once again, the universe had other plans, half of this decade was committed to completing my Master’s degree. Yet, this was so much more than just another degree, the knowledge I gained in this program started to lay the framework for the work I do today. Without this foundation, professionally I would be lost and personally unsatisfied. Now, I am preparing to enter the second year in a program for my second Master’s in a completely different field. I have come to recognize education as an incredible catalyst in my work.
Part Two: What have I learned?
Lesson #1: All roads lead to Rome
This actual statement was said to me maybe three years ago and I think my brain exploded. It was the message I have desperately needed all my life. My constant pursuits of everything in every direction, trying to be everything to everyone was a path destined for self-destruction, time and time again. It was also a path that had kind of become my M.O. This beautiful coach empowered me to pick one road and know that it will lead to Rome. A lesson that literally carries me every day.
Lesson #2: I’ve severely underestimated stress
This past decade enlightened me to the reality of the toll that stress has taken on my body. This decade included a gradual weight gain that refused to go in the other direction, regardless of my efforts. I worked with multiple personal trainers and nutritionists, pushed myself despite whatever else was happening in my life. My muscle mass would increase, yet the fat wouldn’t budge and because of the increased muscle mass, my overall weight increased. To say it was a frustrating time would be a severe understatement, I was completely devastated, believing that I had no control and the number would keep growing.
In the last two years, I have begun to learn about the impacts of stress on our bodies. It was then that I finally connected the dots that my workaholic, people-pleasing nature over the last decade was translating into stress levels that were devastating to my body. Then I was adding the physical stress of extreme workouts which only broke my body further. These professionals recommended I pause my weight lifting workouts and instead try mediation and slow flow yoga. This was also the time when Qigong entered my life. It has been a full year since I have transitioned my workouts to be a force of stress relief rather than added stress and I’m happy to report my weight is finally traveling in the other direction. This was a wake-up call I needed to recognize the severe imbalance in my life between demands on my time and necessary self-care. They were right, less is truly more.
Lesson #3: Growth means people will come and go
It was about five years ago that I was introduced to the concept of energetic vibrations. I was even more fascinated by the dynamics at play when our personal vibrations mingle with the vibrations of others. It explained a lot in the capacity of why people simply cannot like you off of minimal impressions (i.e. she just rubs me the wrong way). It was somewhat comforting to me to know that for some I was just water to their oil and there was no way we were never going to mix.
However, the true lesson comes in the fact that “never” isn’t necessarily the case, especially in circumstances where we choose to grow and evolve. See with every personal evolution, our vibrations change which means who we gel with will change as well. As a result, the people in your life are not a guarantee. People will come into your life when energetically aligned and they will leave when that alignment is no longer present.
Part III: What am I willing to let go of?
Belief #1: I must do everything
This portion of the review, challenged me to identify limiting beliefs and old stories that I am ready to let go of going in 2020. The first should not be surprising considering my lesson on stress. But for 2020, I refuse to take on the burden of everything. For years, I have told the universe that I am ready for support yet I made the request accompanied by fear. As a result, I never truly made space for support to even appear. I was doing everything and resisting the idea of ever letting any of it go.
Now, this concept of doing everything is directly connected to my personal wellness, if I don’t let support appear – I will not be able to continue my work. So 2020 bring it, I am ready to receive love and support. And I commit to reiterate my readiness by saying no to opportunities that do not provide me the love and true support that I need at this time.
Belief #2: I am alone
As a child, I have always been connected. Meaning that I always fully understood the concept that we are not alone on a much grander scale. Yet being connected and sensitive, also made me feel very alone. Even to this day, it is a struggle to find someone that I can have a completely open conversation with, having the ability to share all that I hear and see. For most when we chat, you merely get glimpses and I’ll admit that the limited discussion is strictly filtered by me and my fear.
Fear of what happens, if you see me completely, do you disappear? Removing one more person from my life and adding to the loneliness. This story, I realized only has power because I believed that others dictated my level of worthiness. In addition, the cultural expectation has ingrained in me a direct link between socialization and a sense of belonging. Through my personal evolution over the last decade, I have become okay with being alone, in fact, I welcome the stillness and peace it brings. Alone is a time for me to rejuvenize and is essential moving forward for my work and personal well being.
Belief #3: I am nothing special
When I first opened my business, I was extremely skeptical that I would be successful and if I was successful, I believed it would be on the basis of nothing extraordinary. When I began being coached for my entrepreneurial ambitions I was consistently asked what did I want to share with the world. I was clueless about how to respond because, in all seriousness, I didn’t have a clue. I didn’t have a clue because of this limiting belief that I was nothing special.
Despite my overactive imagination and creative abilities, most of the ideas I share are severely filtered for fear of rejection. The HRart work that emerged after writing my first book brought an overwhelming sense of clarity to my purpose. I won’t necessarily say I’m embracing the storyline that I’m special and I know it, but I do know that I am living this life for a reason. I have been given the gift of life for a purpose that I plan to deliver.
Part IV: What’s next?
Here are my main priorities for 2020…
Goal #1: The HRart Center
My major goal for 2020 is to open the HRart Center. This center is a collection of HRart services offered at Leadership Arts Associates. These services aim to restore passionate professionals so they may pursue their purposes. These services include the integration of Traditional Chinese Medicine energetic treatments called Medical Qigong. My hope is to grow the center and to be of service for individuals that feel called.
Goal #2: Use my Voice
Writing From Heart to HRart empowered me to find my voice and this year I plan to use it. I have personally committed to creating content on a monthly basis designed for my fellow HRart workers. This includes the return of The HRart of It Podcast, more HRart work blog posts and the launch of HRart School, a monthly YouTube series for HR intuitive development.
Goal #3: Finding Balance
This year I will continue to strive for balance in my life. I will continue to evaluate the demands on my time and choose to only say yes to opportunities that align with my connected path. My hope is that this continued path towards balance will continue to serve my personal overall wellness journey as well.
There you have it, my decade in review! I hope this inspires you to potentially do your own review.
Regardless, thank you for reading and I hope you and your loved ones have a beautiful New Year. Welcome to 2020!
PS – Click here to get the how-to guide for the Decade Review by Marie herself.